The Humor List
 

TRAFFIC REPORT FOR APRIL 2019

TRAFFIC REPORT MENU
1. Welcome And Comments

2. Humor List Staff
3. Contributors' Tips
4. Become A Contributor
5. Traffic Report
6. Contributors' Daily Submission Counts
7. Humor List Goals
8. The 10 Basic Rules
9. Subscribing Instructions
10. Navigating Simplelists
11. Finding the Archives
12. Follow us on Social Media
13. Doug's Traditional Humor Contribution
14. The Humor List Website Navigation

WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF: APRIL 2019
Hi, everyone, this is Doug and Sandy, with this month's Traffic Report - our twenty-first month as a subscriber-supported group and our wonderful contributors are doing a fantastic job each month!! Our Contributors are the best!! If you read a post that you particularly liked - a little "fan mail" to the contributor is always welcomed! Just remember to hit the "Reply" on the email and do not send your personal message to the whole group!

Once a month, during the first part of the month, the Traffic Report is posted to the entire humor list. We hope that you have found that posting the monthly Traffic Report directly to our website and providing everyone a link, has been easier to follow our progress.

Doug:  A new entry has been made under "Contributors' Tips".

Sandy: Been a little busy with school work (algebra #$#@!!!) and I'm looking forward to summer break starting in mid-June. All of the awards for April will be in the deserving email's inboxes very soon. Thank you to all of our dedicated contributors.

The Humor List Exciting Event
* WOW!  We had a grand total of 508 posts this month - a great job by our 15 Contributors. It works out to an average of 16.93 posts per day and an average of 9 contributors. George hit 12 consecutive months. That's not easy to post daily for a full year!! Congratulations. 

The Humor List Exceptional Posting
** A very special mention to the 7 Contributors that posted daily for APRIL 2019
     Sandy (AKA MsSam) - 26th consecutive month
     Humoress1 - 20th consecutive month
     George Matyjewicz - 12th consecutive month
     Paul Benoit (PBen) - 7th consecutive month
     Bill Eagle - 5th consecutive month
     Doug Harter - 4th consecutive month
     Roger Hyman (ADodger) - 1st month

The Humor List Amazing Event
What an amazing job with 508 posts for March! Our daily average for the year was 16.98 jokes per day. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
If you have a complaint or comment regarding the Traffic Report - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.us
(This report updated with current information: APRIL 2019 )
Back To Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

THE HUMOR LIST STAFF IS COMPRISED OF:  
Sandy (AKA MsSam): Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop" - admin1@thehumorlist.us
Doug Harter: Assistant Admin, Archivist, and Traffic Reporter - traffic@thehumorlist.us
Maurizio Mariotti: Twitter Account Management - twitter@thehumorlist.us
Bill Edwards: Founder and List-Owner Emeritus
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

** CONTRIBUTORS' TIPS **
MISSING DAILY POSTS
We realize that sometimes stuff just happens and a daily post goes missing. We've made exceptions in the past but would like to clarify our policy -
If you can prove it, we will accept delayed/missing posts ONLY if it is due to -
1. An act of Congress.
2. Computer/Internet malfunction(s).
3. An act of God or religious conflicts.

EXCESSIVE POSTS
Originally The Humor List "Rules" stated that only 1 post per day was allowed. Since then, that restriction was lifted and multiple posts were allowed. It has been noted that recently that some contributors are overly zealous in their desire to share humorous posts - creating massive Digests for subscribers. Doug and I have discussed a reasonable compromise and now have set limits at NO MORE THAN 3 posts per email address per "posting day". Effective January 2019, ALL posts exceeding the 3 post limit will be deleted from the daily Digest AND not counted towards a contributor's totals for that day. This will be strictly enforced!

POLITICAL POSTS

While there is nothing specifically restricting the topic of politics in The Rules, the Admin Staff is requesting contributors avoid posting political-oriented jokes, specifically those that are a direct affront to any political party, political ideologies (i.e. Liberals, Conservatives, etc.), or elected officials. We are requesting this moratorium because of the increasing level of complaints we've been receiving. Most subscribers enjoy reading the posts because it's a brief and entertaining escape from the depressing, 24/7 exposure to political news. Contributors and subscribers who wish to read, post or share politically themed items are welcome to do so on the many social media sites designed for just that purpose.

DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES!
What does the Admin Staff consider a "duplicate"? Any joke that was contributed within the past 6 months - and reformatting of an old joke does not change the basic punch line and make it a non-duplicate. Remember, a duplicate post will count towards the daily posting totals, but unless you've submitted multiple, non-duplicated jokes that day, you will not have a post that counts towards your "Days Contributed" total. To provide a tool for searching the past 6-months of posts, there's now a website for contributors only. For the URL and/or assistance with the new searching ability, contact the Admin Staff. Posting restrictions and suspensions WILL RESULT for continued duplicate posting!! Need we say more?
Archive for Tips and Tricks
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR
We have the best group of contributors - some posting every day and some posting multiple times daily. If you'd like information on how to join this elite group of merry men (and women) - send one of the Admin staff an email and we'll gladly answer all your questions. Everyone subscribing to The Humor List is encouraged to become a Contributor. Send your humor to thehumorlist@simplelists.com.
- Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until they can demonstrate an understanding and compliance of The Rules.
- You will not immediately see your posts (if you receive individual postings) until they are approved by Doug or Sandy.
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

TRAFFIC REPORT
Total Jokes Submitted This Month 508
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1   16 17 17 16 15 17
#2 15 20 16 23 16 18 16
#3 16 17 15 15 15 20 18
#4 19 17 17 17 115 16 18
#5/td> 15 17 19        

Total Contributors Submitting
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1   9 9 10 9 9 9
#2 8 12 9 12 9 10 9
#3 9 8 8 8 7 10 10
#4 9 9 9 10 77 8 8
#5/td> 8 10 10        

Statistical Comparisons
  APR 2019 MAR 2019 APR 2018 APR 2017
# Jokes for the Month: 508 531 452 159
# Submission Days for the Month: 30 31 30 30
# Average Jokes Per Day for the Month: 16.93 17.13 15.07 5.3
# Highest Joke Count in 1 Day 23 24 20 8
# Highest Contributor Count in 1 Day 12 11 23 8
# Contributors for the Month: 15 17 21 10
# Total Contributors: 17 18 23 9
# New Subscribers for the Month: 1 0 19 3
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 0 0 2 0
# Total Subscribers at end of the Month: 327 326 331 1464

Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

CONTRIBUTORS' DAILY SUBMISSION COUNTS
* Contributed every day of the available month!.
On the "Daily Submission Counts", although more than one joke may be submitted per day, only one submission per day is countable for those totals. Submission dates are currently based upon Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) (2400-2400).
Contributor Posting Order From 4/1/2019 - 4/30/2019
* Sandy (AKA MsSam) 30
* Humoress1 30
* George Matyjewicz 30
* Paul Benoit (PBen) 30
* Bill Eagle 30
* Doug Harter 30
* Roger Hyman (ADodger) 30
Maurizio Mariotti (Maury) 23
March Warn 16
Lee Bradley (T.O.P.) 9
Robert Bragner (RLB) 4
Anna Welander 4
Phil G 3
Admin/Traffic 2
Lanny Julian 2
Monthly Data
Yearly Data
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

HUMOR GOALS:
A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (Subject Line Warning Requirement).
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

THE HUMOR LIST 10 BASIC RULES (here's the simplified version):
(1) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
- Only substantial examples of humor should be posted.
- Discussion, requests, criticisms, questions should not be posted.
- No personal attacks.
- Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII files. No signature file preferred.
- While multiple posts are allowed, posting limit is now NO MORE THAN 3 per day.
- NO SPAMMING! A spammer will receive one warning before they are deleted and blocked. This is that one warning!
- NO links or attached files - with the exception of official business by the administrators.

(2) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
- Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
- Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
- A CONTRIBUTOR WHO REPEATEDLY VIOLATES ANY OF THESE RULES, AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE SUSPENDED.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to the "Rule Cop": admin1@thehumorlist.us
Full list of Rules: http://thehumorlist.us/rules.htm
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

SUBSCRIBING INSTRUCTIONS THROUGH SIMPLELISTS:
1) http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

2) The one-time subscriber fee is now $14.95 for one email address or $19.95 for two email addresses.

3) After payment through PayPal, you will be directed back to the Humor List website. Because PayPal and SIMPLELISTS are not directly connected, there is a second step that must be completed. Please continue by adding your subscription information to the SimpleLists form. If you encounter any problems, contact Admin1.

4) One of the factors in deciding to allow SIMPLELISTS to become our new mailing list service was their strict anti-spamming policy. After completing the SIMPLELIST form, you will be sent a "Request to join mailing list thehumorlist@simplelists.com" email with a confirmation link. Be sure to confirm your email address. If a subscriber has not "confirmed" their email address - SIMPLELISTS will not allow us to include their email address for daily mailings.
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

NAVIGATING SIMPLELISTS
Effective August 1, 2017, The Humor List became a subscriber-supported list, with our list-mailing service being managed through SIMPLELISTS. New information is now available for subscriptions, 12 months of current archives, and account management. You will also find all of this information on every post you receive.

SUBSCRIBE: The most current information, prices, and possible specials, will be posted on our website. We only accept PayPal for membership fees.

TO BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER: http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

TO CONTROL YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS: http://archives.simplelists.com/

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE HUMOR LIST: Individualized link is included on every email that subscribers received.

24-HOUR POSTING TIMES FOR DIGESTS: Midnight to midnight, PDT (UTC minus 08 hours) and 11:00 PM to 11:00 PM PST  (UTC minus 07 hours).
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

FINDING THE ARCHIVES
These are the current sites for the archives:
Daily Humor Posts, Digests, and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports
Pre-April 2018 (Available to the public)
http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1

Daily Humor Posts
Post-April 2018 (Members only)
https://archives.simplelists.com/hehumorlist
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA
The Humor List on Facebook US ON FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/The-Humor-List-241979695844031/

FOLLOW US ON The Humor List on Twitter
https://twitter.com/The_Humor_List
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

DOUG'S TRADITIONAL HUMOR CONTRIBUTION
And finally, the one feature which has been regularly featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it.

This joke is # 2 in the Digest for: 5/14/2000
Link: http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1/Digests/H0005140.php#Joke2
From: Randall Woodman
Subject: 14 THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

Joke:
1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when I get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you and don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

10. My Mother taught me about SEX....
"How do you think you got here?"

11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father. "

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

14. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like."

Happy Mother's Day! (May 12th)
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archivist
Sandy (AKA MsSam) - Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop"
Back to Top
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

2019 TRAFFIC REPORTS
JANUARY FEBRUARY MARCH APRIL
MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST
SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER

 
 
ARCHIVE NAVIGATION
TRAFFIC REPORTS
MONTHLY
ARCHIVE HOME
MONTHLY POST INDEXES
TRAFFIC REPORTS
YEARLY
MAIN SITE NAVIGATION
HOME SUBSCRIBE THE RULES F.A.Q.
TRAFFIC REPORT DATA CONTRIBUTORS HISTORY BIOGRAPHIES
 
CONTACT
DOUG HARTER
WEBMASTERS
Douglas Harter
Sandy Sibert
CONTACT
SANDY (AKA MsSam)