The Humor List
 

TRAFFIC REPORT FOR MARCH 2019

TRAFFIC REPORT MENU
1. Welcome And Comments

2. Humor List Staff
3. Contributors' Tips
4. Become A Contributor
5. Traffic Report
6. Contributors' Daily Submission Counts
7. Humor List Goals
8. The 10 Basic Rules
9. Subscribing Instructions
10. Navigating Simplelists
11. Finding the Archives
12. Follow us on Social Media
13. Doug's Traditional Humor Contribution
14. The Humor List Website Navigation

WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF: MARCH 2019
Hi, everyone, this is Doug and Sandy, with this month's Traffic Report - our twentieth month as a subscriber-supported group and our wonderful contributors are doing a fantastic job each month!! Our Contributors are the best!! If you read a post that you particularly liked - a little "fan mail" to the contributor is always welcomed! Just remember to hit the "Reply" on the email and do not send your personal message to the whole group!

Once a month, during the first part of the month, the Traffic Report is posted to the entire humor list. We hope that you have found that posting the monthly Traffic Report directly to our website and providing everyone a link, has been easier to follow our progress.

Doug:  Sandy is getting close to her previous record of 2 1/4 years. Keep it up, Sandy!
We had a average total of 17.19 posts per day with an average of 9 Contributors.

Sandy:  They say, "Time waits for no one," except for The Humor List. Thank you Doug for being so patient as I attempt to reformat my time and obligations - college, The Humor List, and life! The contributors continue to be dedicated, submitting all these daily jokes, coming up with amazing monthly totals. A big thank you goes to all of those wonderful people - I'm sure our reading members enjoy your efforts.

The Humor List Exciting Event
* WOW!  We had a grand total of 531 posts this month
The Humor List Exceptional Posting

** A very special mention to the 6 Contributors that posted daily for MARCH 2019    
   Sandy (AKA MsSam) - 25th Consecutive Month
   Humoress1 - 19th Consecutive Month
   George Matyjewicz - 11th Consecutive Month
   Paul Benoit (PBen) - 6th Consecutive Month
   Bill Eagle - 4th Consecutive Month
   Doug Harter - 3rd Consecutive Month

The Humor List Amazing Event

What a remarkable job with 531 posts for March! Our daily average for the year was 17 jokes per day. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
If you have a complaint or comment regarding the Traffic Report - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.us
(This report updated with current information: MARCH 2019 )
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THE HUMOR LIST STAFF IS COMPRISED OF:  
Sandy (AKA MsSam): Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop" - admin1@thehumorlist.us
Doug Harter: Assistant Admin, Archivist, and Traffic Reporter - traffic@thehumorlist.us
Maurizio Mariotti: Twitter Account Management - twitter@thehumorlist.us
Bill Edwards: Founder and List-Owner Emeritus
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** CONTRIBUTORS' TIPS **
EXCESSIVE POSTS
Originally The Humor List "Rules" stated that only 1 post per day was allowed. Since then, that restriction was lifted and multiple posts were allowed. It has been noted that recently that some contributors are overly zealous in their desire to share humorous posts - creating massive Digests for subscribers. Doug and I have discussed a reasonable compromise and now have set limits at NO MORE THAN 3 posts per email address per "posting day". Effective January 2019, ALL posts exceeding the 3 post limit will be deleted from the daily Digest AND not counted towards a contributor's totals for that day. This will be strictly enforced!

POLITICAL POSTS

While there is nothing specifically restricting the topic of politics in The Rules, the Admin Staff is requesting contributors avoid posting political-oriented jokes, specifically those that are a direct affront to any political party, political ideologies (i.e. Liberals, Conservatives, etc.), or elected officials. We are requesting this moratorium because of the increasing level of complaints we've been receiving. Most subscribers enjoy reading the posts because it's a brief and entertaining escape from the depressing, 24/7 exposure to political news. Contributors and subscribers who wish to read, post or share politically themed items are welcome to do so on the many social media sites designed for just that purpose.

DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES!
What does the Admin Staff consider a "duplicate"? Any joke that was contributed within the past 6 months - and reformatting of an old joke does not change the basic punch line and make it a non-duplicate. Remember, a duplicate post will count towards the daily posting totals, but unless you've submitted multiple, non-duplicated jokes that day, you will not have a post that counts towards your "Days Contributed" total. To provide a tool for searching the past 6-months of posts, there's now a website for contributors only. For the URL and/or assistance with the new searching ability, contact the Admin Staff. Posting restrictions and suspensions WILL RESULT for continued duplicate posting!! Need we say more?
Archive for Tips and Tricks
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BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR
We have the best group of contributors - some posting every day and some posting multiple times daily. If you'd like information on how to join this elite group of merry men (and women) - send one of the Admin staff an email and we'll gladly answer all your questions. Everyone subscribing to The Humor List is encouraged to become a Contributor. Send your humor to thehumorlist@simplelists.com.
- Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until they can demonstrate an understanding and compliance of The Rules.
- You will not immediately see your posts (if you receive individual postings) until they are approved by Doug or Sandy.
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TRAFFIC REPORT
Total Jokes Submitted This Month 531
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1           17 18
#2 15 22 18 17 17 19 17
#3 18 17 16 15 17 20 18
#4 24 17 20 17 17 17 13
#5 15 16 16 15 15 15 17
#6 16            

Total Contributors Submitting
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1           10 11
#2 8 11 10 8 11 9 10
#3 10 9 10 8 8 10 10
#4 10 9 11 10 9 10 8
#5 8 9 8 8 9 8 10
#6 9            

Statistical Comparisons
  MAR 2019 FEB 2019 MAR 2018 MAR 2017
# Jokes for the Month: 531 466 458 187
# Submission Days for the Month: 31 28 31 31
# Average Jokes Per Day for the Month: 17.1 16.64 15 6
# Highest Joke Count in 1 Day 24 21 26 9
# Highest Contributor Count in 1 Day 11 1 23 1
# Contributors for the Month: 17 17 19 12
# Total Contributors: 18 19 21 11
# New Subscribers for the Month: 0 0 1 3
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 0 1 0 4
# Total Subscribers at end of the Month: 326 326 312 1458

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CONTRIBUTORS' DAILY SUBMISSION COUNTS
* Contributed every day of the available month!.
On the "Daily Submission Counts", although more than one joke may be submitted per day, only one submission per day is countable for those totals. Submission dates are currently based upon Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) (2400-2400).
Contributor Posting Order From 3/1/2019 - 3/31/2019
* Sandy (AKA MsSam) 31
* Humoress1 31
* George Matyjewicz 31
* Paul Benoit (PBen/Pauly) 31
* Bill Eagle 31
* Doug Harter 31
Roger Hyman (ADodger) 30
Maurizio Mariotti (Maury) 23
March Warn 18
Lee Bradley (T.O.P.) 12
Anna Welander 10
Phil G 4
Lanny Julian 2
1 Submission Each: Admin/Traffic, Robert Bragner (RLB), Carol Coleman, Grady Lacey
Monthly Data
Yearly Data
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HUMOR GOALS:
A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (Subject Line Warning Requirement).
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THE HUMOR LIST 10 BASIC RULES (here's the simplified version):
(1) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
- Only substantial examples of humor should be posted.
- Discussion, requests, criticisms, questions should not be posted.
- No personal attacks.
- Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII files. No signature file preferred.
- While multiple posts are allowed, posting limit is now NO MORE THAN 3 per day.
- NO SPAMMING! A spammer will receive one warning before they are deleted and blocked. This is that one warning!
- NO links or attached files - with the exception of official business by the administrators.

(2) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
- Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
- Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
- A CONTRIBUTOR WHO REPEATEDLY VIOLATES ANY OF THESE RULES, AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE SUSPENDED.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to the "Rule Cop": admin1@thehumorlist.us
Full list of Rules: http://thehumorlist.us/rules.htm
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SUBSCRIBING INSTRUCTIONS THROUGH SIMPLELISTS:
1) http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

2) The one-time subscriber fee is now $14.95 for one email address or $19.95 for two email addresses.

3) After payment through PayPal, you will be directed back to the Humor List website. Because PayPal and SIMPLELISTS are not directly connected, there is a second step that must be completed. Please continue by adding your subscription information to the SimpleLists form. If you encounter any problems, contact Admin1.

4) One of the factors in deciding to allow SIMPLELISTS to become our new mailing list service was their strict anti-spamming policy. After completing the SIMPLELIST form, you will be sent a "Request to join mailing list thehumorlist@simplelists.com" email with a confirmation link. Be sure to confirm your email address. If a subscriber has not "confirmed" their email address - SIMPLELISTS will not allow us to include their email address for daily mailings.
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NAVIGATING SIMPLELISTS
Effective August 1, 2017, The Humor List became a subscriber-supported list, with our list-mailing service being managed through SIMPLELISTS. New information is now available for subscriptions, 12 months of current archives, and account management. You will also find all of this information on every post you receive.

SUBSCRIBE: The most current information, prices, and possible specials, will be posted on our website. We only accept PayPal for membership fees.

TO BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER: http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

TO CONTROL YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS: http://archives.simplelists.com/

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE HUMOR LIST: Individualized link is included on every email that subscribers received.

24-HOUR POSTING TIMES FOR DIGESTS: Midnight to midnight, PDT (UTC minus 08 hours) and 11:00 PM to 11:00 PM PST  (UTC minus 07 hours).
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FINDING THE ARCHIVES
These are the current sites for the archives:
Daily Humor Posts, Digests, and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports
Pre-March 2018 (Available to the public)
http://thehumorlist.us/archive/Site1

Daily Humor Posts
Post-March 2018 (Members only)
https://archives.simplelists.com/thehumorlist
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FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA
The Humor List on Facebook US ON FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/The-Humor-List-241979695844031/

FOLLOW US ON The Humor List on Twitter
https://twitter.com/The_Humor_List
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DOUG'S TRADITIONAL HUMOR CONTRIBUTION
And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. This is my contribution of Humor from the Archives:

This joke is # 2 in the Digest for: 4/8/2007
Link: archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1/Digest/H0704080.php#Joke2
From: Bill Stebbins
Subject: Easter Is Here

Joke:
Where do Easter Bunnies go for new tails?
To the "retail store".

What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?
He cracked up.

Why couldn't the eggs go out on a hot summer day?
They were afraid they would fry!

What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up!

What part did the egg play in the movies?
He was an "egg-stra.

How did the eggs leave the highway?
They went through the eggs-it.

What did the eggs do when the light turned green?
They egg-cellerated.

Why couldn't the egg family watch T.V.?
Because their cable was scrambled.

What did the mommy egg say to the baby egg?
You're egg-stra special.

What's red, pink and blue with yellow all over?
An Easter egg rolling down the hill.

Why won't eggs go out at night?
They don't want to get beat up.

Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-u-cated.

Why wouldn't the egg take a hot bath?
He didn't want to be hard boiled.

How do eggs stay healthy?
They egg-cercize.

What kind of jokes do eggs tell?
Egg yolks!

What do you call an egg from outer space?
An egg-stra terrestial.

What day does an egg hate the most?
Fry-days.

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Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archivist
Sandy (AKA MsSam) - Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop"
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