The Humor List
 

TRAFFIC REPORT FOR FEBRUARY 2019

TRAFFIC REPORT MENU
1. Welcome And Comments

2. Humor List Staff
3. Contributors' Tips
4. Become A Contributor
5. Traffic Report
6. Contributors' Daily Submission Counts
7. Humor List Goals
8. The 10 Basic Rules
9. Subscribing Instructions
10. Navigating Simplelists
11. Finding the Archives
12. Follow us on Social Media
13. Doug's Traditional Humor Contribution
14. The Humor List Website Navigation

WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF: FEBRUARY 2019
Hi, everyone, this is Doug and Sandy, with this month's Traffic Report - our nineteenth month as a subscriber-supported group and our wonderful contributors are doing a fantastic job each month!! Our Contributors are the best!! If you read a post that you particularly liked - a little "fan mail" to the contributor is always welcomed! Just remember to hit the "Reply" on the email and do not send your personal message to the whole group!

Once a month, during the first part of the month, the Traffic Report is posted to the entire humor list. We hope that you have found that posting the monthly Traffic Report directly to our website and providing everyone a link, has been easier to follow our progress.

Doug:  Our contibutors are still doing a great job, with an average of almost 17 posts per day with an average of 9 contributors. There is a change on my posts for March. See how many of you can see what it is and let me know. Hint: It may take a few days to guess correctly.

Sandy:  I'm hoping everyones February was better than mine - snow, college homework catch-up and finals around the corner, snow, that nasty 'winter cold', snow, close friends with severe injuries and diagnoses, and more snow!

The Humor List Exciting Event
* WOW!  We had a grand total of 466 posts this month
The Humor List Exceptional Posting

** A very special mention to the 7 Contributors that posted daily for FEBRUARY 2019

    Sandy (AKA MsSam) - 24th Consecutive Month
    Humoress1 - 18th Consecutive Month
    George Matyjewicz - 10th Consecutive Month
    Paul Benoit (PBen) - 5th Consecutive Month
    Bill Eagle - 3rd Consecutive Month
    Doug Harter - 2nd month of daily posts
    Roger Hyman (ADodger) - 1st month of daily posts

The Humor List Amazing Event

This rarely happens but we had 7 contributors that posted every day this month! Duplicates came down impressively and I'd like all the contributors to know how much that is appreciated, from the admin staff and our subscribers!! It's still amazing though, with such a short month, the daily posts and monthly totals were so impressive. Keep up the fantastic work for the rest of 2019!

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
If you have a complaint or comment regarding the Traffic Report - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.us
(This report updated with current information: FEBRUARY 2019 )
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THE HUMOR LIST STAFF IS COMPRISED OF:  
Sandy (AKA MsSam): Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop" - admin1@thehumorlist.us
Doug Harter: Assistant Admin, Archivist, and Traffic Reporter - traffic@thehumorlist.us
Maurizio Mariotti: Twitter Account Management - twitter@thehumorlist.us
Bill Edwards: Founder and List-Owner Emeritus
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** CONTRIBUTORS' TIPS **
DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME BEGINS MARCH 10th!!

While most of us will be setting our clocks forward on Sunday morning, March 10th - the SimpleList server remains unchanged! Our new posting hours for each daily Digest will be 00:01 AM to 12:00 PM, PDT (UTC minus 07 hours) beginning that date.EXCESSIVE POSTS
Originally The Humor List "Rules" stated that only 1 post per day was allowed. Since then, that restriction was lifted and multiple posts were allowed. It has been noted that recently that some contributors are overly zealous in their desire to share humorous posts - creating massive Digests for subscribers. Doug and I have discussed a reasonable compromise and now have set limits at NO MORE THAN 3 posts per email address per "posting day". Effective January 2019, ALL posts exceeding the 3 post limit will be deleted from the daily Digest AND not counted towards a contributor's totals for that day. This will be strictly enforced!

POLITICAL POSTS
While there is nothing specifically restricting the topic of politics in The Rules, the Admin Staff is requesting contributors avoid posting political-oriented jokes, specifically those that are a direct affront to any political party, political ideologies (i.e. Liberals, Conservatives, etc.), or elected officials. We are requesting this moratorium because of the increasing level of complaints we've been receiving. Most subscribers enjoy reading the posts because it's a brief and entertaining escape from the depressing, 24/7 exposure to political news. Contributors and subscribers who wish to read, post or share politically themed items are welcome to do so on the many social media sites designed for just that purpose.

DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES!
What does the Admin Staff consider a "duplicate"? Any joke that was contributed within the past 6 months - and reformatting of an old joke does not change the basic punch line and make it a non-duplicate. Remember, a duplicate post will count towards the daily posting totals, but unless you've submitted multiple, non-duplicated jokes that day, you will not have a post that counts towards your "Days Contributed" total. To provide a tool for searching the past 6-months of posts, there's now a website for contributors only. For the URL and/or assistance with the new searching ability, contact the Admin Staff. Posting restrictions and suspensions WILL RESULT for continued duplicate posting!! Need we say more?

Archive for Tips and Tricks
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BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR
We have the best group of contributors - some posting every day and some posting multiple times daily. If you'd like information on how to join this elite group of merry men (and women) - send one of the Admin staff an email and we'll gladly answer all your questions. Everyone subscribing to The Humor List is encouraged to become a Contributor. Send your humor to thehumorlist@simplelists.com.
- Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until they can demonstrate an understanding and compliance of The Rules.
- You will not immediately see your posts (if you receive individual postings) until they are approved by Doug or Sandy.
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TRAFFIC REPORT
Total Jokes Submitted This Month 466
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1           19 18
#2 14 18 18 15 16 17 16
#3 16 21 16 15 15 16 17
#4 17 17 17 15 15 18 16
#5 15 15 18 18 18  

Total Contributors Submitting
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1           11 10
#2 7 10 10 8 9 9 9
#3 9 14 9 9 8 9 9
#4 9 8 9 8 8 11 8
#5 8 8 10 11 11  

Statistical Comparisons
  FEBRUARY 2019 JAN 2019 FEB 2018 FEB 2017
# Jokes for the Month: 466 533 442 151
# Submission Days for the Month: 28 31 28 28
# Average Jokes Per Day for the Month: 17 17 14 5
# Highest Joke Count in 1 Day 21 22 20 9
# Highest Contributor Count in 1 Day 14 1 23 1
# Contributors for the Month: 17 17 17 12
# Total Contributors: 19 19 22 11
# New Subscribers for the Month: 0 0 2 2
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 1 1 3
# Total Subscribers at end of the Month: 326 326 311 1461

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CONTRIBUTORS' DAILY SUBMISSION COUNTS
* Contributed every day of the available month!.
On the "Daily Submission Counts", although more than one joke may be submitted per day, only one submission per day is countable for those totals. Submission dates are soon changing to Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) (2400-2400).
Contributor Posting Order From 2/1/2019 - 2/28/2019
* Sandy (AKA MsSam) 28
* Humoress1 28
* Paul Benoit (PBen/Pauly) 28
* Bill Eagle 28
* Doug Harter 28
* Roger Hyman(ADodger) 28
Maurizio Mariotti (Maury) 25
March Warn 14
Lee Bradley(T.O.P.) 11
Phil G 6
Lanny Julian 2
1 Submission Each: Admin/Traffic, Robert Bragner (RLB), Ray Powell, Anna Welander, Randall Woodman
Monthly Data
Yearly Data
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HUMOR GOALS:
A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (Subject Line Warning Requirement).
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THE HUMOR LIST 10 BASIC RULES (here's the simplified version):
(1) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
- Only substantial examples of humor should be posted.
- Discussion, requests, criticisms, questions should not be posted.
- No personal attacks.
- Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII files. No signature file preferred.
- While multiple posts are allowed, posting limit is now NO MORE THAN 3 per day.
- NO SPAMMING! A spammer will receive one warning before they are deleted and blocked. This is that one warning!
- NO links or attached files - with the exception of official business by the administrators.

(2) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
- Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
- Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
- A CONTRIBUTOR WHO REPEATEDLY VIOLATES ANY OF THESE RULES, AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE SUSPENDED.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to the "Rule Cop": admin1@thehumorlist.us
Full list of Rules: http://thehumorlist.us/rules.htm
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SUBSCRIBING INSTRUCTIONS THROUGH SIMPLELISTS:
1) http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

2) The one-time subscriber fee is now $14.95 for one email address or $19.95 for two email addresses.

3) After payment through PayPal, you will be directed back to the Humor List website. Because PayPal and SIMPLELISTS are not directly connected, there is a second step that must be completed. Please continue by adding your subscription information to the SimpleLists form. If you encounter any problems, contact Admin1.

4) One of the factors in deciding to allow SIMPLELISTS to become our new mailing list service was their strict anti-spamming policy. After completing the SIMPLELIST form, you will be sent a "Request to join mailing list thehumorlist@simplelists.com" email with a confirmation link. Be sure to confirm your email address. If a subscriber has not "confirmed" their email address - SIMPLELISTS will not allow us to include their email address for daily mailings.
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NAVIGATING SIMPLELISTS
Effective August 1, 2017, The Humor List became a subscriber-supported list, with our list-mailing service being managed through SIMPLELISTS. New information is now available for subscriptions, 12 months of current archives, and account management. You will also find all of this information on every post you receive.

SUBSCRIBE: The most current information, prices, and possible specials, will be posted on our website. We only accept PayPal for membership fees.

TO BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER: http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

TO CONTROL YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS: http://archives.simplelists.com/

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE HUMOR LIST: Individualized link is included on every email that subscribers received.

24-HOUR POSTING TIMES FOR DIGESTS: Midnight to midnight, PDT (UTC minus 08 hours) and 11:00 PM to 11:00 PM PST  (UTC minus 07 hours).
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FINDING THE ARCHIVES
These are the current sites for the archives:
Daily Humor Posts, Digests, and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports
Pre-August 2017 (Available to the public)
http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1

Daily Humor Posts
Post-August 2017 (Members only)
https://archives.simplelists.com/thehumorlist
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FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA
The Humor List on Facebook US ON FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/The-Humor-List-241979695844031/

FOLLOW US ON The Humor List on Twitter
https://twitter.com/The_Humor_List
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DOUG'S TRADITIONAL HUMOR CONTRIBUTION
And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. This is my contribution of Humor from the Archives:

This joke is # 3 in the Digest for: 3/13/2010
Link: archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1/Digest/H1003130.php#Joke3


From: Stan Kegel
Subject: Three Groaners for Saint Patrick's Day

Joke:

"Spies Spied"

During World War II, the captured Allied agents of Stalag 15 were attempting yet another daring prison break. On this particular night, Major O'Roarke and Lieutenant Flanagan were chosen to try to cut their way out of the east gate. They were hard at work when the siren sounded, and the floodlights caught them in the act.

As the German officer led them away, O'Roarke asked, "We were so careful. How did you catch us?"

The German replied, "It's very simple. Somehow, I can always tell when Irish spies are filing."

"Spies Spied" from "The Ants Are My Friends" by Richard Lederer & Stan Kegel ('2007 Marion Street Press). "When Irish eyes are smiling" from "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling" by Ernest Ball, Chauncey Olcott, and George Graff, Jr.


"Accidents Happen"

Seamus fell off a tractor belonging to his neighbor, Colin O'Toole, banging his leg on a manifold sticking out of the side of the engine.

When Seamus's son asked him where it hurt, Seamus moaned in agony, "Ohhh! Da knee, boy! The pipes, the pipes o' Colin."

"Accidents Happen" from "The Ants Are My Friends" by Richard Lederer & Stan Kegel ('2007 Marion Street Press). "Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling" from "Londonderry Ai by Frederick Edward Weatherly.


"Donkey Hotay"

An Irishman named O'Leary, who loved to sing as he worked, bought a mule to farm his garden. The mule worked well but was almost totally deaf. So, when his owner yelled, "Whoa!" the animal often continued plowing.

Asked how the mule was working out, O'Leary shook his head in resignation.

"There was a time," he said, "when all the neighbors could hear was me singing my lilting melodies. But lately, I'm afraid, they've heard nothing but my riled Irish whoa's!"

"Donkey Hotay" from "The Ants Are My Friends" by Richard Lederer & Stan Kegel ('2007 Marion Street Press). "My wild Irish rose" from "My Wild Irish Rose" by Chancellor "Chancey" Olcott.


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Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archivist
Sandy (AKA MsSam) - Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop"
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